The Overstimulated Mom’s Guide to “Self Care” (aka Hiding in the Pantry With Chocolate)

There’s a certain kind of exhaustion that only motherhood can unlock. Not regular tired. Not “I stayed up too late binge watching reality TV” tired.

I mean:

• forgot-why-I-walked-into-the-room tired

• reheated-my-coffee-four-times tired

• someone-touching-me-might-send-me-into-the-woods tired

And somehow, when moms say they’re overwhelmed, the internet lovingly responds with:“Have you tried self care?”

Oh yes. Of course. Let me just pencil in a 90-minute spa day between cutting crusts off toast and Googling “can toddlers survive entirely on crackers.”

The truth is, mom self-care usually looks a little different than the aesthetic Instagram version. You know the one:

• spotless white robe

• cucumber water

• candles lit at 2 p.m. somehow

• nobody screaming “MOMMMMM” from another room

Couldn’t be me.

So today I’m sharing realistic self-care for overstimulated moms. Tiny little moments that actually count — even if they happen while hiding in the bathroom.

1. The Drive-Thru Beverage Reset

There is something deeply healing about getting a little drink. I don’t make the rules.

An iced coffee. A fountain Coke. A fun little lemonade. Suddenly I’m not a burnt-out goblin woman anymore — I’m a person with flavor syrup.

Bonus points if you sip it alone in the car while nobody asks you for a bite.

That’s not selfish. That’s healthcare.

2. The “Don’t Talk To Me” Shower

Not the rushed 3-minute shower where tiny fingers slide granola bars under the door.

I mean a real shower.

The kind where:

• you exfoliate something

• shave at least one leg

• stand dramatically under hot water contemplating your life choices

• use the expensive body wash you’ve been “saving”

• actually mosturize your whole body

Honestly, if I emerge from the bathroom moisturized? That’s basically a spiritual retreat.

3. Grocery Pickup Instead of “Browsing”

Once upon a time, Target runs were therapy.

Now? Now they’re a tactical military operation involving snacks, bribery, and someone crying in the parking lot.

(Usually me.)

Grocery pickup has changed my life. Nothing says self care like avoiding aisle 7 with an overtired toddler screaming because you won’t buy yogurt melts shaped like dinosaurs.

4. Reading Three Pages of a Book Before Passing Out

Remember hobbies?Those were fun.

Sometimes I have grand dreams of reading an entire novel peacefully with tea and a blanket.

What actually happens:

• read 3 pages

• reread same paragraph 4 times

• fall asleep holding Kindle to face

Still counts.

Tiny moments matter. And honestly, reading anything besides ingredient labels and toddler medicine instructions feels luxurious at this point.

5. Painting My Toenails for renewed confidence

There’s something oddly healing about painting your toenails as a mom.

Not because anyone’s seeing them — because honestly, who the hell is even looking at my feet these days besides my toddler using me as a jungle gym?

Fingernails are too high maintenance. Those chip immediately from opening snacks and surviving motherhood.

Toenails though? Toenails are private. Low-risk. Safe.

I can paint them a cute color, feel mildly human again, and then immediately cover them with fuzzy socks like the self-care queen I am. however every glance I get of them makes me feel like the baddie I am.

6. Eating a Snack You Didn’t Share

Moms deserve one snack that belongs only to them.

One.

Not the half-eaten granola bar covered in toddler lint. Not cold chicken nuggets sacrificed from your own plate.

I’m talking:

• hidden chocolate

• gas station candy

• chips you keep behind the frozen vegetables like a raccoon protecting treasure

You earned it.

7. Lowering the Bar

This one changed everything for me.

Sometimes self-care is not adding more to your plate. Sometimes it’s deciding:

• frozen pizza is fine

• laundry can wait

• screen time won’t ruin your child

• paper plates are a survival tool

You do not need to create magical Pinterest childhood memories every single day.

Some days the goal is simply: “Everyone survived and nobody licked an outlet.”

That counts as success.

Motherhood Is Beautiful… and Also Extremely Loud

I think moms put so much pressure on themselves to do everything perfectly.

Organic snacks. Enrichment activities. Clean homes. Educational play. Homemade dinners. Gentle parenting while someone screams directly into your eyeballs.

It’s a lot.

So if your version of self-care lately has been:

• sitting in your parked car for five extra minutes

• rage-cleaning while listening to true crime podcasts

• buying yourself a silly little treat

• doom scrolling in bed after everyone’s asleep

Honestly? Same.

And you know what? You’re probably doing better than you think.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go microwave the same cup of coffee for the third time today.

--m&mmom